Aloha! As always, here are some images to share with you all of this
B E A U T I F U L island of Oahu!
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| Michael working for Jim our landlord, putting in a soaker watering system and drain pipes here on the property |
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| Amazing view from our new church New Hope here in Kaneohe! |
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| Another shot from the church parking lot looking up into the Pali Mountains right behind the church! |
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| Our son Chris, his girlfriend Melanie and their new sweet pup Buddy |
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| CUTEST, happiest pup playing frisbee! Loved watching him! |
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| At Kailua Beach - so beautiful |
Oh how God loves to mix things up, am I right?? You get going one way, thinking this is for sure His direction for your life, and then boom, He does a quarter turn on you and puts you going in a whole different direction! This was my experience this last week, although instead of it being something NEW, He's directing me full circle back to something He revealed to me a few years back. Let me explain...
As I have shared in previous posts, I came to realize my health issues were not just about my digestion being out of wack for no apparent reason, it was also due to the fact that I had addictions to certain types of starchy/sugar type foods that were continuously keeping my gut in an uproar! (And to be honest, I don't know to what degree these foods have and still are affecting my ill digestive tract, but will only truly find out for sure once I get off them!) I had a particularly difficult weekend of "binging" on these foods (oatmeal and brown rice with agave!!) when Michael was gone for the men's retreat. I couldn't figure out WHY it was so bad over those two days and then came to the realization that it was because I was alone. I have been repeating this behavior for YEARS, ever since I was little, and didn't see it until now! I was sick SO much as a child and would stay home from school more often than went. Everyone worked and went to school so I was alone through the day. I came to rely on my goodies to bring me joy and company...as my own "self-comfort." And as I think back, even when I was so sick, I would literally force myself to still eat something sweet, etc because I came to know it as my comfort. So I would try to use the food to bring that comfort, even when I didn't want it physically. This is something that I have carried with me my whole life! I see so clearly now that I only get great satisfaction out of eating these foods when I'm by myself. (When I'm with Michael and I eat something, it's good, but not an "experience" so I don't tend to do it much when I am with him or others) And I have a "routine" with it as well! I get so excited when I know that I have the day to myself and plan in my head the whole "experience" of the day...go to Whole Foods and get my wheat wrap or brown rice with freshly ground peanut butter (always healthy mind you!) and a yummy vegan chocolate chip cookie...drive to a beautiful park, beach etc, bring a creative art magazine or good book and then sit and "experience" my moment! I feel SO GOOD when I do this, beyond anything else I can think of! Nothing makes me feel so happy and content as I do in that moment! Wow. What a revelation. To see the emotional component as well as the physical addiction to the starches. God helped me to see this NOW because I am right where He wants me to get the healing I need. Pretty amazing, thank you God.
I right away called Hope Chapel (before I talked myself out of it!) and left messages with a few of the leaders of some support groups and before I knew it, I was sitting at the Overeaters Anonymous group last Tues. It was very strange for me to be there. But I realized too, that it's no wonder I could never get to a place of permanently stopping this behavior of eating these negative foods because I was TRYING TO OVERCOME a behavior by myself that had it's strongest grips on me in my isolation!! I just knew I needed community and so there I sat, taking it all in and feeling very "weirded" out. Still don't know if I belong there or not, but I will go next week and see what God tells me. It's all up to Him, not me. I do not dictate, any longer, what I will or won't do. I knew that once I really gave my life over to Him 2 years ago, He was the director and I am to just respond, no matter how UNCOMFORTABLE or scary it was because HE knows best.
In addition, God has also shown me that I was eating foods (all the high meat proteins and fats) that were not good for my metabolic type. I took a great test from a book I was led to get through the library called "Metabolic Typing Diet" and it helped to determine my metabolic type. I had also done a hair analysis test about a month back that also showed the same results. It turns out I have a very S L O W metabolism and cannot burn the SLOW burning proteins and fats well. This is why I got so sick on the GAPS diet that landed me in the hospital. For my type of metabolism, carbs (and not the starchy carbs, but the vegetables that are non-starchy) are what I need to eat more of and much less, lighter type proteins and very little fats. It's pretty amazing, because I had been asking God, daily in my quiet time, to lead me into how to eat in order to bring healing. He showed me, before I did the testing, that I needed to stop all meats for a while and replace them with vegetable proteins (spirulina, hemp protein powder etc) and cut out all fats in order to calm things down. I noticed a real shift and all the relentless upper stomach pain and nausea was cut down by over 70%! And then I get the results of these two tests that confirmed that I was on the right track. Yay!! Now it's a matter of fine-tuning the ratio of the nutrients, figuring out what to eat, for optimal ability to burn for energy so I can get feeling better. And staying away from the bad guys! I have HOPE like never before.
In my quiet time today, God led me to this scripture - so relevant and so good for where I am right now!
1 Corinthians 9:24-27
"Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into STRICT training...therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I BEAT my body and make a a slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."
This verse shows me that we must be deliberate about overcoming the flesh! We must work very hard to beat the flesh into submission to God's Holy Spirit. Only then are we going to win...only then can we get the prize that God promises. I want the prize. I want to be all that He created me to be, free from fleshly bondage and free to be healthy and strong in this body, this temple He gave me. This is why Jesus came...to set the captives free.
I am so grateful for this time that God has given me where I don't have to work right now, here in this beautiful place He's provided, a loving church close by so I can go even when I don't feel up to it, and a loving, beautiful husband by my side to support and pray for and with me through this process. Also for my family who has stood by my side all my life, loving me, caring for me. I am SO blessed. I know this road is not going to be easy, but God made me to conquer challenges right? So conquer them I will in Jesus name!
Here's to a NEW day, new beginnings and the 12 step program!!
Blessings,
Sue
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