Morning

Dragon Fruit - grows here on Oahu

Morning!  Oh, I must say, it was a rough night, once again!  Just struggling to eat much of anything that doesn't just sit in my stomach and throat and make me sick!  Know now that I cannot eat any meats after 4 or 5 as my digestion gets weaker as the night goes on.  (This is true for us all actually...the best time to eat a high protein, bigger meal is anytime between 10-5)  After being awake through most of the night, I finally fell asleep and woke up at 5:30 am.  Michael and I had planned on meeting up with our son Chris & his girlfriend Melanie for a "sunrise surf" time.  Needless to say, I couldn't go.  Argh.  Just laid in bed after Michael left and had a few tears, felt a bit sorry for myself, then got up and proceeded to the kitchen with a "I DON"T CARE" attitude!  I have Michael hide all of the "starchy" tempting foods like oatmeal so that I don't grab for them in a fit of weakness...and...well...I searched them out and found them!!  I gave myself permission today to have a cheat after 5 weeks of being off all of these foods, eating nothing but steamed, blended green veggies (baby food!), little bit of meats and fruits, and having nothing but relentless symptoms!  Instead of feeling better, I felt so much worse and it just wasn't lifting.  So I ate 1/2 cup oatmeal and it tasted like heaven.  I then decided today would be a day to have a few cheats and we went to the local health food store to find something that I could eat that wouldn't be tooooo terribly bad.  I ended up with one of my favs - brown rice with freshly ground peanut butter and salt!  SO yum!  Ohhhhh... if anything could ever taste so good, that was it!  Well...I have to admit, I also ended up getting my favorite goody in the whole wide world, Barbara's Snackimals vegan choc. chip cookies!  PURE HEAVEN.

I realized this morning, that I have to take the whole GAPS diet a little further...I will have to eliminate all of the sweet fruits and most likely, get off all fruit completely in order to heal my gut.  These fruit sugars, even though good for most people, still feed the yeasts and bacterias.  I have increased the amounts of fruits that I'm eating over the last week or so and have experienced a real increase in my ability to digest anything with out pain and symptoms.  So tomorrow will be my day to start that.  I am taking a break today.  Will definitely pay for the things I'm eating today, but...it will be worth it.  (I probably won't be saying that by tonight when it all hits at once!!)

I am weary...I am tired of not being able to just eat.  This has been a lifetime battle of food always making me sick.  But those are only my emotions...and our emotions are very fickle and can't be trusted to tell the full truth of what is going on.  I KNOW that God brought me here to this island to heal.  There is NO doubt in my mind over that.  I have known for awhile now that I have to get off the fruits but I haven't wanted to face it or do it.  I have SUCH a sweet tooth and they satisfy my need for sweets.  The thought of eating nothing but blended green veggies (baby food) and boiled, rinsed, fat free tasteless meats only just puts me over the edge emotionally.  But again, those are my "feelings" talking.  I will not allow them to dictate to me what I will or will not do.  I WILL do this because it's what God is calling me to do in order to heal.  I will wake up tomorrow morning and juice my cabbage and lettuce and drink it knowing it's healing to my innards.  I will do it because I gave up my right and say over what happens with my body when I submitted my body to God as a living sacrifice.  I have put my body on the altar as a living sacrifice for His service...for His Glory.  This body no longer belongs to me, it belongs to God.  I do not determine what I do with it, He does.  My job is to be obedient to His calling.  I have to TRUST that He knows what's best for it.  He created it, He must know what it needs to heal, right?  Right.  I have tried so many avenues of healing over the years that have all been my own searching, my feeling it was right, my, my, my.  But I have never arrived because I never completely surrendered to His will, His full leading.  I am SO ready to do it all His way and only His way.

The bible tells us we must submit fully to God everything and He will then make our path straight.  If there are areas in your life that you are struggling with, especially areas that have been long term issues, consider full submission to your Father God.  Can you trust Him fully?  Do I trust Him fully?  I can't say 100% yet...but I am learning to, step by step, day by day.

Romans 12:1 "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service."

Here is a wonderful prayer for those who want to submit fully to Jesus:

"Lord Jesus Christ, I thank You that on the cross You died for me that I might be forgiven, receive eternal life and become a child of God.  Lord, I come to You as the head over the church.  I put my body on the altar of Your service and I ask You to put me in my place within the Body.  I give myself to You without reservation.  From this day forward my body belongs to You.  It will go where You tell it to go. It will eat only what You originally made to eat to be healthy and strong for Your service Lord.  It will serve in any way You tell it to serve.
Thank You Lord, for receiving me as I come to You through Your name, Amen

Blessings and here's to a NEW DAY tomorrow!
Sue