New Beginning - AGAIN!...

OK, so we are in the year 2012!  Sounds so futuristic doesn't it?  But it's the now.  My now.  And reality is tumbling in with issues I know I have to tackle and have been avoiding for far too long now.  I will share in a minute, but FIRST, here are some pics of this beautiful island that God made that I love to share with you all! 

 

Coolest bird ever!  Very aloof and quiet, but has such a PRESENCE!

Para-surfing - lot of that here - so amazing to watch!

My wanderin' flip flops!  They have taken me to some awesome places here in Oahu! 

Michael at his temporary job at the Christmas tree lot - he had some great opportunities to share the joy of Jesus!

One of our favorite spots...ahhhhhhh...

Our beautiful son Chris who lives here on the island too!  Just love him to pieces!  SO glad to be here with him and his fiance Melanie! 

Michael riding to work!  Great form of transportation here on the island!

Found this beautiful spot here in Hawaii Kai right on the canal...kind of reminded me of Kirkland waterfront in Washington.  Great spot to sit and have lunch!

So love my iPhone camera!  Know I'm not supposed to "love" things...but...well, I just can't help it...I LOVE that camera and the ease of using it!  So convenient and no fuss!  

God has been on me for quite some time to quit all foods that are not HIS and in their original form in order to improve my health to the next level...and who knows, maybe bring full healing, amen? Also to switch over to mostly raw food eating for my digestion. I have literally given everything over to Him, submitted all to His will, EXCEPT these few foods that I have not wanted to give up.  They truly are my drug and without them, I feel "off"... when I eat them, I feel "normal" for awhile and it feels so gooooood to feel a little bit of normal in my health!  These foods I am talking about are sugar in the form of dark chocolate (always the chocolate!!!), and cookies in the form of vegan chocolate chip cookies (Whole Foods here on the island mades the BEST ones ever unfortunately!).  I have wrestled with these off and on for years!  They were my comfort when I was young and sick and still are today.  They are my "feel good, happy place" every day.  Honestly, I've come to realize that without them, my day feels empty.  Because I have relied on them since I was little to be my comfort, I have a LOT of years under my belt to overcome!!  BUT, God has been showing me for a long time now that I need to eliminate them.  But especially in this journey here.  He has brought me here to this island to heal and I don't believe I can fully heal until I eliminate them.  We've been here 4 months now and have only 2 more months left in our pre-paid apt and then ??  We have no idea where we will go, have no furniture, not even a bed, have no dishes, etc.  I need to be able to work if we're going to make it here and cannot while I'm grappling with the ups and downs of my health.  SO I made the decision to eliminate them as of the first of this year and that will give me 2 months to heal.  I started today.  PRAY FOR ME!  P L E A S E!!  I make light of it, but it really is a serious addiction...physically, mentally and emotionally.  

God has led to me a wonderful woman who wrote a wonderful book called, "Made To Crave."  I am so thankful for her story and her words of wisdom regarding this issue with foods.  She writes, "This wasn't really about the scale or what size I was;  it was about this battle that raged in my heart.  I thought about, craved and arranged my life too much around food.  So much so, I knew it was something God was challenging me to surrender to HIS control.  Really surrender.  Surrender to the point where I'd made radical changes for the sake of my SPIRITUAL health perhaps even more than my physical health."  She then goes on to ask the same question of us that she asked herself that changed her life when she realized what her answer was..."Is it possible you love and rely on food more that you love and rely on God?"  !!!!!!  Wow.  Eye opener for me!  I see in the many years of eating these sugars and chocolate I have relied on it, built my days around it, KNOWING it would bring me symptoms if I overindulged, but did it anyway, I see how much I focused on it daily!  She then shares how she came to the realization that in order to overcome this and have full victory and balance/peace with her food, she had to see it as something MORE that just about her.  I see for myself, that it my truth as well.  By seeing this as something much bigger than me, that by letting go of these foods, I am sacrificing myself and all fleshly wants in OBEDIENCE to Him...it won't be quite as easy to give in to "ME" when I have the cravings.  It's SO much more than ME.  And when I indulge, every day, and eat these foods that are not created by Him for my health, it's only about satisfying ME.  

She writes, "God never intended for us to want anything more than we want Him.  Just the slightest glimpse into His Word proves that.  Look at what the Bible says about God's chosen people, the Israelites, when they wanted food more than they wanted God:  "They willfully put God to the test by demanding the food they craved"  (Psalm 78:18).  Yikes.  And what became of them?  They never reached the Promised Land.  These people wandered in the desert for forty years and no one but Joshua and Caleb was allowed to enter the land flowing with milk and honey.  Not one."

I don't know about you, but I LONG to enter into the abundant life that God has for me and I don't want to wander in the desert any longer, that keeps me from this life He has because I willfully put Him to the test over food!  I know that in everything, we have to find "balance" and I LONG to find that balance in my eating.  Where my body is satisfied and I no longer crave things that are not good for me.  So each time I crave something, I will use that craving as a prompt to pray and focus on God.  I need to "tear down the tower of impossibility of food before me, brick by brick, and then use those same bricks to build a new walkway of prayer, paving my path to victory." So I have to see that each and every craving I have will become another brick I can lay on my walkway of prayer to God.  I love that.  

I spent about 2 hours this morning in the Word and going through some great christian books I have, finding scripture to add to my arsenal!  I have a great little journal that I stared that I call my Power Thoughts journal where I continue to write down all empowering thoughts and scripture.  So I added a whole load of them today to help me when I feel low or weak.  And I know I will as my body/brain goes through the adjustment of getting that steady supply of sugar and wonderful brain enhancing chemicals from the chocolate.  It won't be easy and I dread it, BUT I have my God to get me through.  Here are a few scriptures I found this morning that I just love and bring me instant strength as soon as I read them!

"The Lord holds my hand;  He is the LORD, Who says to me, Fear not;  I will help you!"

Isaiah 41:13

"Because the LORD helps me, I will not be dismayed;  therefore, I have set my face like flint to do His will, and I know that I will triumph!"   (oh, just LOVE this one!!!!)

Isaiah 50:7

"The LORD is good, a Strength and Stronghold in my day of trouble;  He knows those who take refuge and trust in Him."  

Hanum 1:7

"I take comfort and am encouraged and confidently and boldly say, "The Lord is my Helper; I will not be seized with alarm (I will not fear or dread or be terrified)."

Hebrews 13:6

Just writing those all out here again makes me feel powerful and triumphant already!  I know He brought me here for a reason, first to heal, then to do His Work.  I am so ready to be His servant and get my hands "dirty."  But know I have to go through this before He can use me.  

Any of you out there battling food issues?  If so, would love for you to share and I can pray for you as I ask you to pray for me.  (To leave a comment, just click on comments at the end of the post and select anonymous and write your note! - be sure to leave your name so I know who you are ok?)

Hugs and blessings and here's to a victorious, GOD filled 2012!

Sue